Aeronautical Abstract:

Pilots with ADD (Altitude Dysfunction Deficit)

Ten Warning Signs that a Pilot has Altitude Dysfunction Deficit:

• The pilot radios ahead for you to move your lawn furniture

• You can read the part number beneath the plane

• The Cessna fights for a spot at the bird feeder

• You can identify the frequent fliers by their seat numbers

• Your microwave wreaks havoc on the plane’s navigational system

• The pilot asks you to turn down the volume on the T.V so he can listen to traffic control

• Your dog prefers chasing Prop Planes to Jeep Durango’s

• You’re on a first name basis with the pilot

• The pilot mistakes your wood shed for a tollbooth

• You sit down for dinner as soon as the food cart leaves the vestibule

For questions about Altitude Deficit Disorder, contact the Aeronautic Institute for Dysfunctional Pilots, where all they ever hope for is a wing and a prayer.