Ninny Poop Head!

Yesterday, at five o’clock, my brain melted after a two-hour phone conversation with a QuickBooks ProAdvisor. Gurgle! Sploosh! She hijacked my desktop, remotely, and then commandeered my mouse. Several windows opened and closed. The cursor sped across the screen, telekinetically, and then screeched to a stop at the taskbar. “Just press this!”  the ProAdvisor ordered…. Continue reading

Wireless Connection Lost! Patience Not Found!

Recently, after jettisoning from my desktop into cyberspace, Firefox bypassed Google, rerouting me to Internet purgatory, and the message, “Server not found!” I responded with, “Goddamn it! You lost it again!” To which Firefox said, referring to itself in third person, “Firefox can’t find the server at” How could you without Google Maps? Ignoring… Continue reading

Rapping the Rapture

Image via Wikipedia When I stepped outside to get some air,I got the fire and brimstone in my hair The sky was dark as midnight, as dirty as coalThen thousands of Locusts swarmed up my nose My sinuses throbbed, thought they might explodeI couldn’t find a tissue and that really blows I’m enraptured with the… Continue reading