Migratory Habits 
and Behavior

Workplace Habitat

Although Weasels live in underground areas and in places they cannot be found, every morning they migrate to office buildings in suburban and urban areas where they inhabit cubicles and/or tiny offices that are often mistaken for utility closets. A Workplace Weasel typically hibernates during the day, only venturing from his cubicle when detecting the scent of takeout food or an opportunity to forage for supplies or data in a colleague’s unattended workspace.

Identifying a Weasel

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Spotting a Weasel in the workplace is not difficult, as he usually wears ill-fitting clothing that is either wrinkled or stained, and sports a slicked back hair do, i.e., the origin of the nickname “Slick,” which is often associated with a Weasel. Like the Skunk, another member of the Weasel family, A Weasel produces a pungent odor from his sweat glands, when angered or frightened, that can be detected from a distance and usually occurs when a Weasel is caught snoozing at his desk or sneaking out the building before 5 p.m.  

Interacting with a Weasel

After a coworker calmly issues instructions for a project, a Weasel will likely respond by barking, whining, or stamping his foot, while gesturing wildly with his hands. He will then stare at his coworker with a vapid look in his eyes; wrinkle his forehead in confusion, as his mouth remains wide-open.

Though a Weasel’s feeding habits vary from day-to-day (He never orders from the same takeout place twice since he usually stiffs the delivery boy.), his questioning habits are quite redundant. A Weasel is known to ask the same question repeatedly, using different phraseology at times; until he tires or becomes so befuddled, he retreats to his cubicle to resume hibernation. Also contrary to a Weasel’s erratic feeding habits, his internal clock is remarkably consistent, awakening the Weasel from his hibernation punctually at 4:55 p.m. each day just before dismissal.

For more information on the Workplace Weasel visit: Life sure is a snoozefest! -a renowned expert in the field of Weaselology.