The neglected appendage or when left means right Metaphorically speaking, a left-handed man has a longer hike down the same path than a right-handed man does when it comes to adjusting his underwear. History has not been kind to the left-handed man and his briefs until one British manufacturer defied the laws of right-handed… Continue reading
Date Archives → September 2009
Gunning for a Job? Face off at High Noon. Pistols or Pencils?
Hint: When your opponent yells, “Draw,” don’t grab a pencil The job market should be modeled after the Wild West. Instead of eliminating applicants with the delete key, have the top tier fight it out among themselves in a gun duel in the lobby. A win-win situation. Whoever lives, gets the job. Whoever loses is… Continue reading
Food Prompt Du Jour: Shrimp – The Prince Scampi APB
You don’t have to be small to be a shrimp Everything went along swimmingly for Prince Scampi, heir to the Jumbo Shrimp Empire, until the day he was caught in a dragnet by the Fish Interpol of the Caribbean Sea. It all began with an APB on a criminal crustacean named Crab Legs Louie. A… Continue reading
The Interview Smell Test: Eve Saint Laurent or Eau de Bull Ca-Ca?
Interview Warning Signs You know there is a problem if . . . • A Pekingese carrying a chew toy greets you in the reception area then pees on your leg. • The interviewer picks his teeth with a hunting knife. • The interview desk has a wee-wee pad instead of a desk pad…. Continue reading
Hello Dearest E-mail from Rwanda – Bad Investment /Grammar
Spam, Spam, Spam, Spam Hello Dearest, (We’re not even on speaking terms.) Permit me to inform you of my desire of going into business relationship with you. My name is Julet Desmond the only daughter of late Mr.and Mrs.Desmond. (How late?) MY FATHER ( Dr PHILIP DESMOND THE CHAIRMAN MANAGING DIRECTOR OF DESMOND &… Continue reading
Ask Your Doctor About the Pharma Collection: A Pill Pack Gift for Any Occasion
You’ve got the symptom! We’ve got the cure! via Got the blues? – We’ve got a pill for that. Mother-in-law in town? – We’ve got a pill for that. Mad at a spouse? – We’ve got several pills for that – from our Anniversary Collection. Every beautifully designed Pharma Pill Pack… Continue reading
The Sun is the Flame – I am the Lobster – Coo-Coo-Ca-Choo
Self Portrait (after baking in the sun) Wednesday’s child is full of woe, as is lobster night if you’re a lobster or happen to look like one. After mistaking the green tube of shampoo for after sun aloe, my arms were oh so clean but still blazing red hot from the sun. That’s when… Continue reading
The Bombastic Mr. Hoss: Escape from Glum Street
A Story About a Club Soda, a Light Bulb, and a Psychotic Bartender It was Mr. Hoss’ bad luck to stop by the Glum Street Bar on his way home from the light bulb store, after getting a tan at the Salon Du Jour. If only he didn’t have a hang over from the night… Continue reading
Debt is good if you can finally sell that bridge you bought
Are you a debitante? “Nothing says give me a break like a slap of a credit card in hand.” The sales lady said. “Yes,” the others echo while standing in line across the room, sinking into the soles of their bottomless shoes. They wait their turn to choose between heaven and hell, staring at the… Continue reading
Cheney Takes Aim at Justice Department – Misses
Every one ducks for cover in the senate commissary.