YOU MAY BE MENOPAUSAL IF . . .
• your head is so far up your ass you need Google earth to find it
• you weep uncontrollably during pharmaceutical commercials at the recitation of possible side effects
• a glass of Pinot Noir tastes like fermented cow dung
• you regard flowers and other visually pleasing objects as satanic cryptograms
• when a neighbor says, “Hello,” you think she is being facetious
• you can hear a pin drop
• at night, you think the sun is intentionally snubbing you
• when your husband says, “Just relax,” you want to crimp his noise hairs with a curling iron
• you believe that a fine wine is an unearthly moan
• when you’re at the library, you think people are whispering about you
• you watch the news to cheer yourself up
• you think the supermarket cashier is carding you because of the cooking wine and not the bottle of beer you just opened with your teeth
If you suffer from one or more of the above symptoms, maybe it’s time to ask your doctor about Menointerruptus, the pill that prevents you from being a pill.
If you liked this, you may also enjoy: Sick of Pharmaceutical Ads?
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Okay, I'm safe for even just a little while longer. WHEW!
Thank goodness!!
Sounds like I've been there for a while. Fun times.
You're not kidding, Kys. Every day is an adventure.
Male menopause, too? The warm car, the 'trading in of my 50 for two 25s', the overly-assured opinions, the gym workouts, the stupid daring. Everything should be blonde, blonde. Or an 'exotic' look.
And: what is this pain, right here. No. Down farther.
Ha! What about a sports car that you might have trouble getting out of?
Brahahah you are so funny! I am a new follower.
I have featured you today on my blog for Sunday blogger spotlight.
Grissell
http://www.stay-at-homemomwhoknew.blogspot.com
Thanks!!! Really appreciate that. Will stop by as soon as I return from health club hell.