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FYI, guys.
Washing dishes is not magic realism, fantasy or science fiction. You cannot wish a dish dirt free by rubbing a Genie’s lamp or will it clean with telekinetic abilities.
Dirty dishes in a sink remain in a state of food decay until said dish undergoes a Loofah scrub or dishwasher purification ritual.
You cannot change a dish from dirty to clean with a click of the remote control or get rid of a dish with a mafia hit. Dishes aren’t disposable and should not be tossed in the trash after just one use.
Leaving a dish unattended in the sink won’t teach it the virtues of clean living. There is no 12-step program for a plate, no pharmaceutical solution for dirty dish disease.
Don’t you know it’s sacrilegious to smite crockery at night?
A plate must stay chaste. You must cleanse its ceramic soul after defiling it. Otherwise, it might embark on a germicidal rage, corrupting Sippy cups juiced up on acidic vitamin C while sliming strung out saucers.
Gunk on a plate stays on a plate until you take the plate in your hand and purify it with Palmolive dish soap. Can I hear a hallelujah?
Hallelujah!
Brother, you must rid the dish of grease streaked sin by sanitizing it in suds. Enough is enough. You must absolve the dish of past residue and grimes of passion.
Purge the plate of maleficent Rocky Road and pecan pie. Flush the demons down the drain. Shine that plate until you can see your face reflect the pristine white glow of soap. That’s all it takes to free a dish of the grit that taints it.
Now say 12 Hail Mary’s and we’ll call it a day.
“Amen.”
Debris or not debris. That is the question.
Only you can set it free.
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Funny how only one person seems to do those dishes either. Just saying. I’m going to go check the sink now.
Have a terrific day. 🙂
I’m the Head of Sink Operations in my house, which includes a staff of one.
I just emptied a wine glass at your previous blog site. It’s in the sink…
Ha!!!! Be sure to clean that sucker before it grows two heads. I’ve got a biological experiment in my sink.
Just watched an episode of Hoarders so I’ve already washed the wine glass that Katie’s left at the other place.
ha!!! Love hoarders and extreme couponing. Maybe they work as a team. **
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Genius! ….grimes of passion! My dishes are familiar with this one!
Thanks Sandra.
I end up doing the dishes all the time in my house. My husband and son like to see how high they can stack the plates in the sink, building dinnerware skyscrapers. I’m thinking of installing an observation deck in them.
Lol. You really know how to dish it out Lauren. But enough of my platetidudes. I wish to confess and repent. I am a hoarder, a dish tower builder, and a petri dish observer. Please will someone come over here and clean out my sink. I PROMISE I will do the dishes next time.
And oh yes,……I still have more boxes to contend with. Dumpster, Donation truck, and shelving in my near future! Thanks for asking Lauren. BTW, Are you hurricane ready? I think I might have to tie my dish tower down.
Maybe you can get a gig on Discovery. Dish Hoarders. We can take it but not dish it out.
With my son home from college, the sink is sinking from the weight of dishes.
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About the hurricane, I’m ready for a fistfight at the A&P. People get
ugly before a storm. They’ll deck you to get that last carton of eggs.
We live on top of a mountain, so our only concern is being blown away.
Maybe we’ll end up in Oz.
Maybe you can get a gig on Discovery. Dish Hoarders. We can take it but not dish it out.
With my son home from college, the sink is sinking from the weight of dishes.
About the hurricane, I’m ready for a fistfight at the A&P. People get ugly before a storm. They’ll deck you to get that last carton of eggs. We live on top of a mountain, so our only concern is being blown away. Maybe we’ll end up in Oz.
Haha! I could really use a reality TV Discovery Channel gig, and I well know about college students and crushing sink weight.
The grocery store was incredibly amusing. Yesterday, the store bins were filled with chocolate pudding, cans of Chef Boyardee, Keebler Cookies and two for one mandarin oranges. Today the bins were filled with gallons of water in every plastic container size imaginable, batteries, flashlights, band-aids, matches, and bags of firewood. It’s hot here. Hmm…I won’t be building any fires in the near future!
We live on a ridge line in the woods. I think we are just going to get crushed by flying objects and trees. T-I-M-BERrrrr! I’ll wave to you in your flying house if you blow this way. You can drop your dishes as you pass. I think the driving rains should get them clean.
Today, the supermarket scares me. Last time I went to the market before a storm, I got elbowed out of the way for a last box of fried chicken. Good call on the bag of firewood.
I think everyone in New England lives on a ridge line in the woods. I won’t drop my dishes as we pass by. I don’t want you to mistake them for UFOs.
I hope we land by a lake.
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