My brain talks too much.
As soon as I open my eyes to a freshly minted day, my brain starts yammering.
Blah, blah, blah.
Things to do:
Make beds with hospital corners. Note: Omit drainage bag and catheter.
Wipe out dust bunny colony. Note: Dump remains in woods in back of house.
Forage supermarket shelves for food. Note: Wear elbow pads, helmet and body armor.
Print out 200 page manuscript at UPS store. Print out 200-page manuscript on office printer.
Don’t want to dehydrate the printer cartridge or get the skinny on a ream of paper.
A cartridge only costs $30 bucks. A 200-page print job costs $15 or $20 bucks.
Will there be a happy ending?
Print out 200 page manuscript on office printer. Print out 200-page manuscript at UPS store.
Note: It’s not rocket science.
I’m bored. On to other things . . .
You gonna write a blog post today out of anorexic air? Transparency in writing is key in a pad. Or are you gonna strain our brain with that editing shit?
I vote for Feng shui writing. Take the laptop and write in different corners of a room.
What about the dogs? The nagging will start in approximately 10 seconds, 9, 8, 7 . . .
Ruff, ruff, I want to go out.
Ruff, ruff, I want to come in.
Ruff, ruff, feed me or I’ll magically appear underfoot and get tangled in your legs.
Ruff, ruff, scratch behind my ear or I’ll eat that Harry Potter book you left on the coffee table.
You’re a dumbass for leaving it there.
I want this. I want that. Dog demands disguised as high-pitched barks.
God, they’re worse than kids.
You’ve only got one kid.
But if I had two, the dogs would be twice as bad.
Dogs are easier than kids, except when a dog screeches, you can’t shove a binky in its mouth.
Is there a binky for adults?
Cigarettes and booze. Both can kill you, but at least you’ll be smiling at the end of days.
The dogs are still a pain in my ass.
Looks like more than one ass to me.
But the dogs are so cute when they’re quiet.
That doesn’t last long. One crow caw and they’re out of the house – ruff, ruff, ruff all the way down the stairs and onto the lawn.
Image via Wikipedia
Sometimes I get so ferklempt from their antics shit sputters from my ears.
That’s because you’ve got shit for brains a.k.a. CRS (can’t remember shit).
Can’t remember what?
Say goodnight, Gracie.
Goodnight Gracie.
Do you write from the seat of your pants or switch on your editor?
I thought 3 dogs would be just the same as two dogs just with one more. I was really a bit off the mark. Three is a weird ass number of dogs. I probably would do better with 4. Then each of them could have a partner in crime. But wait! I have big dogs and I can’t afford to do one more. It’s also illegal where I live to have more than 3 dogs. Oy vey. Nothing is simple!
All you need is to be dogged by the Canine Squad. Their motto: Bust the bitches!
Nobody better try and bust my bitches. Honey and Zoe are bad ass girls!
LOL! My dog Jenny is also a bad ass girl. Jake is her bitch.
My poor dog Harry is everybody’s bitch!
Lol, You are awesome! I know you can keep up with all the things you have to do daily, come on! let the dogs do their thing
Thanks for the vote of confidence, Miss Lego.
Sometimes, the dogs can be sooooo distracting. A bark in the middle of a thought can derail the entire process. It would be nice if dogs came with a volume control that could be set to mute.
I replied in the WordPress dashboard and nada! Here I go again:
Thanks for the vote of confidence, Miss Lego.
Sometimes, the dogs can be sooooo distracting. A bark in the middle of a
thought can derail the entire process. It would be nice if dogs came with a
volume control that could be set to mute.
Pingback: Karen Woodham
Your answer is a Chihuahua. Really. My Dixie is happy to sleep all day as long as she can be in the same room with me, and since I now live in one room that’s no problem.
I try writing by the seat of my pants, but my editor is pretty much always on the job.
My dogs sleep most of the day until they catch a scent outside or hear activity that personally involves them . . . like someone walking past the house. They are worse than Mrs. Kravitz. : )
My dogs sleep most of the day until they catch a scent outside or hear
activity that personally involves them . . . like someone walking past the
house. They are worse than Mrs. Kravitz. : )
I take Concerta to help me, uh, er . . . had the thought in the palm of my hand . . . that’s right . . . focus ’cause I’m ADD. Being ADD keeps my editor away. – I usually spike her coffee with sleeping pills – So, I usually riff write then go back and wake up the editor.
You’re not ADD. You’re just buffering.
I think I need to reboot.
Hahahaha! I have your problem, and it comes with two dogs too!
Do your dogs work together as a team? Does one execute a maniacal plot, like stealing a book, while the other runs interference? I once caught the two of them dragging a pillow down the stairs.
Do your dogs work together as a team? Does one execute a maniacal plot, like
stealing a book, while the other runs interference? I once caught the two of
them dragging a pillow down the stairs.
Yes! My dogs do so enjoy tag team mischief. Hence they now find themselves ‘behind bars’ when we leave the house. Unfortunately, I couldn’t put them in orange jumpsuits during their short periods of incarceration. Their tails got in the way. Happy Thanksgiving Lauren. We’re getting more snow, and I still have a run to the grocery store! A true holiday nightmare.
LOL! I’d like to put my dogs in a strait jacket. Maybe I’m projecting. Happy Thanksgiving to you, too. We got rain today btw. Though, I haven’t looked out the window lately. I’m afraid.
I’m going to the supermarket tomorrow night because I like to torture myself.
I hate walking dogs. Really. I don’t care how nice the weather is. I don’t want to wake up and have to venture out waiting for the dog to find that perfect spot to shit. Ditto for after work. I’m just too lazy and selfish. That’s why I have a cat. Who’s just as lazy and selfish as I am. We understand each other.
Ha! I can relate about being selfish and lazy after work. Cats are soooo much easier than dogs. I’ve got a cat, too. She detests dogs. You can see it in her face. She has this look of utter disgust when the dogs are in the room.
We inherited an electric fence with the house. So, our dogs walk themselves. What a concept! Now, if I could only teach them how to fetch their shit.
Ha! I can relate about being selfish and lazy after work. Cats are soooo much
easier than dogs. I’ve got a cat, too. She detests dogs. You can see it in her
face. She has this look of utter disgust when the dogs are in the room.
We inherited an electric fence with the house. So, our dogs walk themselves.
What a concept! Now, if I could only teach them how to fetch their shit.
There’s an editor?
Stop it.
Have a great Thanksgiving Lauren!!!(-:xoxox!!!
: ) The editor can be a real bitch. Just don’t show any fear.
It’s great to see you. Have a Happy Thanksgiving!!!!
Hope life is wonderful for you and your family. Damn! It’s that time of the year again.
Aw, crap- well, in general my animals love me. Even my friend and family animals want to go home with me. Everyone is different,I don’t mind little annoyance. Children are completely different. With them you better get yourself a nanny if you want to do anything that day.
Pingback: Lauren Salkin
Pingback: Lauren Salkin