Mother’s Day Rap

I’m a mother with a son, two dogs and cat

I try to cook and clean but fail at that

After work, I want time to clear my head

But have to feed the dogs and cat instead

If they don’t get dinner, they get under my feet

When you fall on your face, it’s harder to scream

 

I’m just a gal with a job, a hubby and kid

Got no time for a facial or sweet spot to fill

Want a safe-room to hide from my family and pets

Sitting alone in the dark is as good as it gets

 

After the dogs and cat got food in their gut

Got to make an ingestible for my husband and son

If I don’t feed them, they get cranky and gruff

Don’t want a coup on my hands while juggling stuff

Cook is a four-letter word and meal is, too.

Can’t my family get their own damn food?

 

I’m just a gal with a job, a hubby and kid

Got no time for a facial or sweet spot to fill

Want a safe-room to hide from my family and pets

Sitting alone in the dark is as good as it gets

 

Gotta put food in the fridge or on the counter it sits

The stack in the sink needs a dishwasher rinse

I stick them on the shelf, as if a piece of puzzle to fit

If I put them in wrong, there’s no place for a dish

Want to push all the buttons and begin the soak

Before I stumble into hubby in the comatose zone

 

My son’s M.I.A., stuck in the World Wide Web

Outside, the dogs avoid the shock of the electric fence

Suddenly, the cat wants to be my friend

She shows it be scratching the counter’s edge

“Stop it!” I scream, then she hits the catnip

Hubby wakes up barking with the dogs, who want to come in

 

Oh, God, I don’t wanna open that door

I’ll never get a moment of quiet time du jour

Just want one day to clear my head of crap

That’s why I wrote this half-baked Mother’s Day Rap

 

I’m just a gal with a job, plus a hubby and kid

Got no time for a facial or sweet spot to fill

Want a safe-room to hide from my family and pets

Sitting alone in the dark is as good as it gets

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15 Comments Mother’s Day Rap

  1. Pingback: Lauren Salkin

  2. June O'Hara

    How funny, Lauren! I love the whole thing. Son’s MIA, stuck in the world wide web…if I don’t feed them they get cranky and gruff…so many great lines. And perfect for Mother’s Day!

    Reply
    1. Lauren

      Thanks!!! I followed your lead with SEO and posting current stuff. I even stumbled it. Haven’t looked yet to see how many hits I got.

      I’m glad you enjoyed it. I don’t usually like posting stuff on the same day I write it.

      Reply
  3. ReformingGeek

    I woke the cat up rapping.  That was hilarious.  May you find peace and quiet and a money tree.  Oh, and a meal tree for the family.  🙂

    Reply
  4. Justin

    This is hilarious… and it was a lot of fun to read out loud. My favorite part was when you said they could make their own damn food. haha XD Hopefully you had a stressless Mother’s Day!!

    Reply
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  6. Pingback: Lauren Salkin

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