Improvised post for 30 Days of Writing – #20 – Going Solo.
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Jumping in with both hands in an attempt to freestyle keyboard.
This is your last chance to bail before I end up at the bottom of the page.
And by the way, I’m going solo to the opera ward of the psychiatric hospital for shrieking vocalists.
Hopefully, someone will cure me of my problem to sing off-key. I’ve been banned from singing at parties.
I won’t tell you about the time they put out an APB on me from singing in the shower. Now, I just move my lips and pretend to make a sound. It’s better that way.
But my musical deficiency doesn’t stop at the vocal chords.
I’ve also got a percussion problem. I can’t chew gum while playing the bongos.
I don’t even have a set of bongos. But if I did and were to pound the skins, I would have to remove the gum beforehand. However, a foot would be better.
A gum smack flusters my cadence and knocks my palms off kilter. Luckily, I’m kneeling at the time, so when I hit the floor, I fall at gnome height.
I like to watch gnomes going solo in a never-ending walk across the lawn. Why gnomes end up at a home on a lawn – which isn’t a range – I’ll never know or ever get a gnome groove going.
What I do know and think in the darkness of my brain. All gnomes should be pan-seared on a range.
Ding!
Time to flip the gnome burgers.
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OMG, Lauren! Is this the result of this challenge?! Did I do this to you?! I’m sorry. 🙂
Actually, this was very funny and eclectic with a little bit of chaotic thrown in the mix. “And by the way, I’m going solo to the opera ward of the psychiatric hospital for shrieking vocalists.” has to be one of the best lines ever!
Yes and no. I can’t blame you entirely. I like to write whatever pops into my mind. Apparently, there was a malfunction this time.
Thanks. I’m glad you like the shrieking vocalists. But they’re so damn loud!!!
Oh nos. Don’t eat the gnomes. Sing to them and they will be gone.
Snort.
Another good one, Lauren. I’ll visit you in the opera ward…..if they let me out of my room and if I can find my earplugs. I’ll be there for some peace and quiet away from Cat.
Oh, no. Another cat attack? Toes this time? The opera ward is now accepting new patients, some of whom are gnome jihadists.
I’ll sing to them all.
Go ahead, eat the little suckers. Just keep some pepto around for later.
Damn it! I’ll eat them with hot sauce. I’m having a colonoscopy anyway the second week of July, so I’ll have a squeaky clean colon.
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That seemed more like a freestyle post! Awesome! Solo rules!
It was. I was exhausted when I sat down to write the post. I couldn’t think, so I didn’t. I just spewed.
Thanks!!