Image via WikipediaRecently, there’s been talk around the bloggerhood about what is real, prompted by a post by Mrs BlogAlot called Blog TV.
Okay, maybe the question is only circulating around my hood, uh, er, head. With that said, my response to MrsBlogAlot‘s post was, “I know I’m real because I pinched my arm and it hurts.”
Really? What kind of answer is that?
I now refer to Alice in Wonderland when Alice says, and I’m paraphrasing, “I must be real because I’m crying tears.”
To which the Mad Hatter or another character responds with, “How do you know they’re real tears?”
Exactly, how do I know MrsBlogalot is real, or Tracie at Stir-Fry Awesomeness, or Reforming Geek at Confessions of a Reforming Geek, or Ziva at Ziva’s Inferno, or JD at I Do Things So You Don’t Have . . ., or any of you for that matter.
I think Ivy at UnscriptedLife is real because she guest posted here, and we’ve communicated by email. I know. I’ve spoken with others by email. But email doesn’t bleed, and for all I know, I could have been conversing with Alice, or Miss Marple, or Madame Bovary, or some other fictional character, or even a spam alien.
Well, you can pinch your arm all you like, but still it is you that is pinching your own arm and telling me you’re real in a virtual world that thrives on nano seconds and imaginary trips around the world, swinging from one site to the next on monkey bar links that disappear, like a room, after you leave it. Remember a tree falls in the forest? Well, does it make a sound or not?
Goddamn it! I want to know the truth.
“You can’t handle the truth!”
I know I can’t. I get it. I prefer fantasy, as fiction is my game. Making mole hills into mountains is an obsession that sends my thoughts flitting about on endless tangential romps or head trips, as I like to call them. If only I could anchor my thoughts, but they seem to have a mind of their own.
But enough about me and more about you. You know who you are. Glenn at Man Over Board and J at Bonehead, and is Bonehead the name on your birth certificate? C’mon. Really? All of you. Are you real or not?
And is reality more like Einstein’s Theory of Relativity or your Aunt Rose’s smeared clown lipstick face? I need answers, and I need them now!
Also, is there really a God?
I don't know…does God have a blog?
And now I'm not even sure if I'm real.
I'm so confused (-:
Yes. God is real. I talked to Him this morning. I'm real too. I just saw my reflection in the mirror and I realized that I need to brush my hair. It looks like I just stepped out of a wind tunnel. 🙂
Mrs. B: I don't know if God has a blog but apparently Leeuna's been in touch.
Leeuna: Can you put in a good word for me? God hasn't spoken to me since my freshman year in college.I have a solution for wind tunnel hair. Stay away from mirrors. I think I'm going to remove all of them from my house.
I must be real because now I am all confused about my real-ness, and I wouldn't be confused about it if it wasn't real. Right?
On the other hand, if being confused about my real-ness makes me real, my real-ness is determined by my confusion, and now that I have determined that I am real on account of being confused about it, I am no longer confused about my real-ness and therefore not real.
I'm confused again. Which would make me real!
I think it's best to just stay confused and hope that everyone is real. Or at least on the real-er side of things.
Great post, Lauren. 🙂
Ziva: Wow. That was as confusing as Plato's cave. Can't someone be confused, as well as deluded into thinking they're real when in fact they were probably a character in the series, "Lost." Now I'm confused about whether I really posted something today or not. Thanks Ziva. : )
I'm lost in the reality of the innards of Al Gore's Internet.
I think I just saw God…or maybe Jesus. It was some dark-skinned guy with a mustache and beard with clean feet. He was trying to shut down the main CPU.
Sigh.
RG: I think you saw Al Gore. Thank God his feet were clean.
I have doubts about how real i am but about God…Trust me he's there(I have a feeling it's a 'He' what with all the problems women are blessed with). I also feel like he's watching me all the time 😉
Kasa: After reading your latest blog post, I think I can determine that you're real. As for God, the jury is still out deliberating while likely sharing a pizza and diet coke.
I'm real. The voices in my head told me so.
If it helps, I'm almost certain I'm not real.
The tricky part is to get the other 6 billion people here to admit they're not real as well…
Ha! Tracie, or should I say, Sybil?
Paul: I'll get on it right now. I think the stuff in your head is real.
I must be real, because there is a video of me on my blog, and I don't know anyone else who has matching bald spots or my Dad's nose or a stupid goiter, so it must be me and I must be real because YouTube is real.
JD: I saw the video. How do I know the video wasn't altered and that it wasn't another person with a matching goiter?
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