I’m following Linda’s lead @ The Good, The Bad, The Worse and reposting my rapture rap for Day 22 of 30 days of Writing, the brainchild (or shock therapist) of the catering staff @ We Work for Cheese. Written on MAY 21, 2011 Revised on JUNE 22, 2012 Rapping the Rapture Image via Wikipedia When I… Continue reading
Author Archives → Lauren
Favors I’d ask of Satan or Satan Party Favors
For Your Prince of Darkness’ Judgment Day, Satan Goody Bags Personalized with a special message: “But by the envy of the devil, death came into the world.” – Book of Wisdom II. 24 That’s all she wrote. Day 21: “Favors I’d ask of Satan” prompt from the 30 Days of writing, creative writing challenge at… Continue reading
Going Solo on a Writing Riff
Improvised post for 30 Days of Writing – #20 – Going Solo. Jumping in with both hands in an attempt to freestyle keyboard. This is your last chance to bail before I end up at the bottom of the page. And by the way, I’m going solo to the opera ward of the psychiatric… Continue reading
My Uncle Once Had a Camel Called George
Not to be confused with the other George who was curious. I don’t think camels are curious. From what I remember, which isn’t much, camels are nasty, as well as prolific spitters. Unless that was someone, I once worked with. Notice I didn’t say, “With whom I once worked.” That’s too formal for me and… Continue reading
Breaking Banana News: The Awkward Banana Insecurity Crisis
Based on the article “The Awkwardness of the Common Banana” by Lynn Plantain. Often referred to as the “leathery berry” or “elbow of the bract,” the common banana has undergone many changes in cultural perception over the years. First popularized in slapstick comedy with a near-sighted fool slipping on a banana peel, today the banana… Continue reading
The Widowed Sock Foundation
Helping Widowed Socks Get Back On Their Feet Again! Every ten seconds, a sock spouse experiences a devastating loss, a pair torn apart by a loved one missing or maimed, worn-out from too many hikes in the woods or spins in the dryer. Their remains tossed in the linen closet to be used as rags,… Continue reading
My Blogging Dysfunction
In an earlier post I wrote about a missing avatar, I admitted I was HTML intolerant. All those #@$#!! letters rupture brainwaves and accelerate my pulse I can’t find when holding my wrist, a sign that I’m a neurotic hypochondriac, as well as directionally impaired. Whenever my pulse gets a Black Sabbath vibe after… Continue reading
Shoe Misfits
Ode to an Ill-Fitting Shoe Cursed is the foot that’s born too thin. Nary a shoe will the foot fit in. If the shoe is too wide, The foot will slide. If the shoe is too tight, A blister will smite. What in the world can a lady do To keep a foot safe… Continue reading
Teleconfusion – TV or Not TV
Teleconfusion: An abnormal condition variously characterized by stupor, stereotypy, mania, and either rigidity or extreme flexibility of the limbs, resulting from watching too much television. You may have experienced one of the symptoms of Teleconfusion after watching The Apprentice, or America’s Got Talent or the recent season of Survivor. Symptoms of Teleconfusion Restless body syndrome:… Continue reading
The Case of the Missing Font Family. Hint. The Delete Key Did It!
Hey, you blanking page. What happened to the Font family? They vanished somewhere between the margins, their characters decimated by Jihadist spelling terrorists. Alas, I fear the fragment may be dead, but I can’t find the body of words. I need an English detective to solve the case – Sherlock Holmes. Prep your pipe and… Continue reading