Haiku! Gesundheit! Forget the sneeze. It’s a red herring. Focus on my mouth. Saki shots whiz across the table. The chef fires the salvo from the other side. Then, everybody starts to count. I made it to 27… Before my throat burned and my mouth locked down. Saki blocked, with no place to go. It… Continue reading
Author Archives → Lauren
Old Moldy Post – Stuff Gets Stuck In My Head and Grows There.
Image via Wikipedia Found this buried in the back of my blog. Next Exit Past Asylum Street. On the road, Mom, Dad, and son head to college admissions. We’re watching all the signs. Just passed Asylum Street. A warning. On the shoulder, a discarded sneaker left standing. Farther down the road, another sneaker on its… Continue reading
Two-Year Blogiversary Head Cleaning
Image via Wikipedia Airing My Thoughts. Two years of windy words waft through the blogosphere. Losing altitude, accelerating toward earth, cyber air whooshes through my window screen. Cold air slams hot, as parallel universes collide. A rogue gust of wind rips the screen from the frame, whacking the side of my head. I pass out… Continue reading
New Series. CSI: Miami Hypochondriacs.
Image via Wikipedia THEY’RE SMART! THEY’RE SAVVY! THEY’RE A PAIN IN THE ASS! THEY’RE CSI: MIAMI HYPOCHONDRIACS. INT. LIVING ROOM – CRIME SCENE TANYAWhat a butcher! I’ve never seen so much blood. TOMHe should have stuck to deli meats. I hope the wife didn’t have an airborne blood disease. TANYAShaking Head After we wrap this… Continue reading
Rapping the Rapture
Image via Wikipedia When I stepped outside to get some air,I got the fire and brimstone in my hair The sky was dark as midnight, as dirty as coalThen thousands of Locusts swarmed up my nose My sinuses throbbed, thought they might explodeI couldn’t find a tissue and that really blows I’m enraptured with the… Continue reading
I Pulled Weeds. Weeds Pulled My Back.
Image via Wikipedia The Weeds Won! POSTS FROM THE CRYPT. I started this blog in May 2009 after I lost my job. This weekend history repeated itself, repeated itself, with the back story that is. Muddy Monday figuratively speaking of course, though I’m not averse to getting dirty. The day before I tackled weeds…. Continue reading
Mother’s Day Celebrity Head Trip Getaways
Image by airpanther via FlickrMother‘s Day Celebrity Head Trip Getaways. So many great packages from which to choose. Ben Affleck Palau Getaway. Enjoy endless hours of fun-filled fantasy in a bungalow on a secluded beach. Surrounded by crystalline waters and white powder sand, this all inclusive vacation comes with open bar, private cook, daily massages… Continue reading
Reality Check: Testing, Four, Five, Six.
Image via Wikipedia Thump! Thump! Thump! Buzz. Whir. Pluff. Silence. I can’t hear you! Cease reality check. Commence email check. There are now 1520 emails in my inbox. Last time I checked there were 1301. The Google says, “You are currently using 648 MB (8 %) of your 7576 MB.” I’m making progress. Not much… Continue reading
Is that a Cell Tower in Your Yard or Do You Just Glow Girl?
On a murky moonless night, in a bucolic New England town with few streetlights and many twisted ankles, a 150-ft Cell Tower Cyborg disguised as a tree descended from the sky… …landing in a blurry residential neighborhood in Ridgefield, CT. Angry citizens stormed the streets in a black and white section of town where… Continue reading
Mentamucil Sponsor for InnerGiggler on Blog Talk Radio
My fake product Mentamucil -The Natural Brain Laxative is tonight’s sponsor for InnerGiggler, Linda’s entertaining radio show on Blog Talk Radio. The show airs Sunday, April 17 at 7p.m. (west coast) and 10p.m. (east coast). Linda will read the ad at 7:15 in daylight on the west coast or in darkness on the east coast…. Continue reading