Image via Wikipedia Dare to dream . . . You’ll likely be screwed! SETTING Suburban office of floundering Magazine Publisher of Poop Nation, Waiting for ToGo, and Stool Time. CHARACTERS LINDA LINKSY: A middle-aged woman, who is a perpetual dreamer in an obsessive, compulsive sort of way; a busy social secretary (never at her desk)… Continue reading
Author Archives → Lauren
As the Crow Flies Non Stop to Tahiti
Caws and Effect A crow swooped down and grabbed a bone my dog had left on the front yard. Away the crow flew, weighed down by its hand-me-down, bare-boned kill. No meat. Nada. Nothing to chew on. Perhaps the crow wanted to dress up its nest with a piece of modern art, though nests aren’t… Continue reading
Workplace Weasel – Genus: Inertus Dimwitus
Image via Wikipedia Migratory Habits and Behavior (based upon the post on workingwith weasels) Workplace Habitat Although Weasels live in underground areas and in places they cannot be found, every morning they migrate to office buildings in suburban and urban areas where they inhabit cubicles and/or tiny offices that are often mistaken for utility closets…. Continue reading
Sick of Pharmaceutical Ads – Ask Your Doctor about Pharm Blocker
Pharm Blocker THE BETTER BETA BRAIN BLOCKER http://www.flickr.com/photos/quinnanya/ / CC BY-SA 2.0 If you experience feelings of hopelessness, emptiness, or despair while watching pharmaceutical commercials, you may be suffering from Pharm Ad Psychosis or PAP. Pharm Blocker, taken once a day, eliminates symptoms associated with PAP by increasing serotonin levels to the brain, which prevents… Continue reading
Origin of the Word “Blog” Traced Back to Ancient Scotland
Scottish Bards Were First Known Bloggers After months of castle hopping, Scottish scholars were able to trace the root of the word “blog” back to the year 1300 and the bogs of Scotland. Castle archives revealed that bards were stationed at the north, east, south and west shore of a castle and would simultaneously… Continue reading
Road Rage Etiquette Friday
10 Rules for Avoiding Arrest or Injury on the Road 1. After cutting off a driver, always check your rearview mirror to ensure you haven’t left the car in a burning heap by the side of the road. If you should see flames shooting into the sky along with thick black smoke, call 911,… Continue reading
Executive Brain Chatter from the Office of Frontal Lobe
Image via Wikipedia ONLY GRAY MATTER MATTERS Out of work, mind-jujitsu restrains my thoughts in a brain lock. I struggle to manage my time, my day. I get distracted for hours, lost in an intricate web of tangential thoughts. Staying focused requires a cerebral taskmaster, a boarding school headmaster, a think tank to go. The… Continue reading
Vaudeville Act, Destined for Dump, Saved by Descendant of Jerry Mahoney
Feckless Five Archival Print Saved by Descendant of Jerry Mahoney The demise of Vaudeville began soon after the debut of the Feckless Five, as they appeared in their first performance pose in the below archival print. Sid (top left) Lenny (top right) Willie (center), Miriam (btm left) Felice (btm right) Feckless Five Back Story The… Continue reading
My Son the Mimbo
Okay. I’ve said it. My 20-year old son is a mimbo — a male bimbo. He had to catch a 6:15 a.m. flight this morning. I was ready and waiting at 4:30 a.m. So, what does he do at 4:30? He takes a shower. Thirty-minutes later, he’s ready to go; we arrived at the airport… Continue reading
Fructose is a bad influence on Juice who is quite naive
A primer on prune juice will follow with intermittent breaks. Now to the lesson of poor juice selection and how every bottle is not created equal. Take highly sweetened Juice. Please! All bottled up. Complaining about shelf life most of the day, rattling about annoying Milk and Carbonated Water. It can really get noisy. I… Continue reading