I love a good laugh, especially after hauling around a cart, with one stuck wheel, filled with perishables (short-shelf lifers) and canned goods (long-shelf lifers). Long-shelf lifers are typically heavier than short-shelf lifers and weigh down the cart. One long-shelf item, a 48-pack of beer, elicited a wry comment from the cashier when I started… Continue reading
Post Category → Cultural Satire
WTF Friday: Thinking Outside the Boxes
Being boxed in hinders artistic freedom, as well as restroom access. Previously published in The Front Porch Syndicate.Written while still gainfully employed. I work in an office with middle-aged men still capable of slogging around a box or two. That is, if the box is intended for them and contains a pair of shoes or… Continue reading
Ducking from crows, diving for roadkill in my head
Quoth the ravenous rumblings of a carnivore Today’s one of those “what day is this?” days. Clouds outside somehow drift inside and hover overhead no matter where I wander in the house. Though my wandering is restricted by the square-footage within. I suppose I could venture out the door, but then I would succumb to demonic environmental… Continue reading
WTF Friday: Menopausal Warning Signs
YOU MAY BE MENOPAUSAL IF . . . • your head is so far up your ass you need Google earth to find it • you weep uncontrollably during pharmaceutical commercials at the recitation of possible side effects • a glass of Pinot Noir tastes like fermented cow dung • you regard flowers and other… Continue reading
A scary thought: other sites that have published my writing
Humorous Essays Published at Mom Bloggers Club – The Accidental Blogger Unscripted Life via Network for Wives – Dental Royalty and the Gold Crown In addition my blog post, “Dead Mice Don’t Eat Cheese,” was a top pick in the WOOF Contest at PlotDog.com. WOOF Contest – Top Picks Poetry Zorlone – “Storm” – A… Continue reading
Burnt Bums and Boobies – Newbie Guide to Nude Sunbathing
How to avoid being rude in the nude? Nude Pool Etiquette: Remove your clothing as soon as you find a lounge chair – ten-second rule – before your tush smooshes the cushion. Always act naturally while removing your clothing in front of a bunch of smiling, naked strangers. No gyrations or sexually suggestive movements… Continue reading
Store launches underpants for left-handed men . . . on the fly
The neglected appendage or when left means right Metaphorically speaking, a left-handed man has a longer hike down the same path than a right-handed man does when it comes to adjusting his underwear. History has not been kind to the left-handed man and his briefs until one British manufacturer defied the laws of right-handed… Continue reading