FYI, guys. Washing dishes is not magic realism, fantasy or science fiction. You cannot wish a dish dirt free by rubbing a Genie’s lamp or will it clean with telekinetic abilities. Dirty dishes in a sink remain in a state of food decay until said dish undergoes a Loofah scrub or dishwasher… Continue reading
Post Category → Cultural Satire
The Refrigerator Chronicles: Shelf Wars
(previously posted and revised) The last time we peeked inside the refrigerator the light was off and a coup de food was underway. The cheese, yogurt, and luncheon meat on the third shelf were conspiring to take over the top shelf, where Moo Milk, OJ, and a silent Angus Beef enjoyed a prime piece… Continue reading
I Got Snaked by a Plumber.
Image via Wikipedia A Real Story w/ Real People. Really! In a community far, far away, a streaming thought video broadcasts from my brain. INT. HEAD – MORNING A water pipe breaks. The drips are less than a second apart. Water leaks beneath the kitchen sink and seeps below to the garage. I call… Continue reading
P&G Swiffer Picks up Playboy Dust Bunny at Seedy Hollywood Bar.
A Sordid Affair. Earlier today, news of an alleged tryst between P&G Swiffer and a Playboy Dust Bunny shook the household cleaning category. Image via Wikipedia Right wing activist, Mr. Clean, broke the story following several eyewitness accounts alleging that P&G Swiffer and Dust Bunny were seen clinging to each other in the back of a Hollywood… Continue reading
Jobless Rate Rises by One.
Image by Cornell University Library via Flickr On Friday, I opened my email at work and read this: Your position with — is being terminated due to restructuring. Let’s meet at 4:45 to discuss further. The person who sent the email sat behind me, only two-feet away. Instead of turning around and facing the person… Continue reading
Office Noir: Secretaria Dim Wittus
Shallow End of the Office A recycled and revised post from May 2009 Warning: For those with short attention spans, listen to the fake person reading the post (by clicking on the “listen now” icon) while doing something else, like having a life. Secretaria stared at her “to-do” list until the words grew hazy…. Continue reading
WTF Friday: Shopping Center Considers Women Special Needs Drivers.
Image by dklimke via Flickr Car park offers wider spaces, signs to help women drivers in need | News.com.au Oh men and their need to malign women drivers. Are we really auto dysfunctional or just preoccupied with stuff, like screaming kids and husbands yelling at us to “hurry up and park the… Continue reading
How blogging saved my mind but not my 401K.
Cover via Amazon REPLACING THE DECK CHAIRS. After being jobless for almost a year, tomorrow I will once again be jobfull. A culture shock waiting to happen due to my previous limited conversational choices, which included the characters in my head and virtual blogging friends. I know you’re all real! Spare us the sentimental crap… Continue reading
Snaking the drain and other erotic half-truths.
If the sink were a heart, the drainpipe would be an artery, the faucet a skull, and the assisting drain surgeon a numbskull. http://www.flickr.com/photos/soulmate02/ / CC BY-NC-ND 2.0 This began as a comment on Kys awesome blog aptly called Stir-Fry Awesomeness. I thought it was too good to remain as a comment and decided to… Continue reading
Squirrels go nuts for the snap, crackle, pop of Christmas lights! They’re tasty and fat-free!
Two out of three squirrels prefer Christmas lights to nuts. I wasn’t going to post today, until an article about squirrels eating Christmas lights piqued my interest. The article aptly entitled, “Squirrels chew up Fredericton’s Christmas lights,” hooked my brain as soon as it associated the word squirrel with chew and then Christmas lights. While reading… Continue reading