Trouble free travel within the confines of your own mind HEAD TRIP INSIDER’S GUIDE: WHAT TO EXPECTNo traffic or weather delays: Unless your thoughts are backed up due to fog No charge for extra baggage: I’m working stuff out No charge for a roundtrip ticket and hotel accommodations: Delusions are free The local cuisine was… Continue reading
Post Category → Humor
If evolution didn’t work, we’d all be swimming with the fishes
However, DNA evidence refutes the fish hypothesis. On a clear night in the Blogosphere, a web gazer doesn’t need Google to see the outer regions of the constellation Suburbius. Where life began in the gene pool, the first step in the evolutionary process before the steam room. But what if evolution didn’t work correctly? Many scientists… Continue reading
Slouching Towards Absurdity
Okay, so I can’t pat my head and rub my stomach at the same time . . . That doesn’t mean I’m a ditz, just ambidextrously challenged. I may be a dreamer, but I’m a pragmatist, too, as I only dream in black and white. That would explain why my life is like a Fellini… Continue reading
Vending Machine Vices – Condoms and Candy Bars
An argument for staying at motels without vending machines in the lobby. There is something unseemly about a vending machine that hangs boxes of condoms next to the Twix candy bars. Such was the case at the Cheapo Motel where I stayed during a trip to Boston. The room included no amenities, no mini bar,… Continue reading
Stuff that makes my head explode
A list of incendiary vices Prescription drug commercials about digestive or urinary problems, skin conditions, depression due to said conditions, or erectile dysfunction med symptoms that cause erections to last longer than 72 hours, sudden blindness, insomnia, and incessant howling at the moon. Squeaky supermarket carts with broken wheels stuck in a perpetual right-hand turn… Continue reading
Honey, Don’t Look at the Spam, or You’ll Go Blind
Beware of Literary Internet Debris . . . Caught in the Cyberspace Spam Continuum I admire the creativity involved in the latest alien spam that landed in my inbox. Both contained riddles that I found intriguing and actually considered clicking the hyperlinks until Caution and Restraint grabbed me by the shoulders and shook some sense… Continue reading
Dead Mice Don’t Eat Cheese
This is based on a true story. Of course as a fiction writer and satirist, I tend to embellish the facts. So, what is actually true? The mouse, the cat, and me, of course. I did grab the cat with the mouse in its mouth, tried to shake it from the cat’s mouth, succeeded in… Continue reading
Gunning for a Job? Face off at High Noon. Pistols or Pencils?
Hint: When your opponent yells, “Draw,” don’t grab a pencil The job market should be modeled after the Wild West. Instead of eliminating applicants with the delete key, have the top tier fight it out among themselves in a gun duel in the lobby. A win-win situation. Whoever lives, gets the job. Whoever loses is… Continue reading
The Interview Smell Test: Eve Saint Laurent or Eau de Bull Ca-Ca?
Interview Warning Signs You know there is a problem if . . . • A Pekingese carrying a chew toy greets you in the reception area then pees on your leg. • The interviewer picks his teeth with a hunting knife. • The interview desk has a wee-wee pad instead of a desk pad…. Continue reading
The Sun is the Flame – I am the Lobster – Coo-Coo-Ca-Choo
Self Portrait (after baking in the sun) Wednesday’s child is full of woe, as is lobster night if you’re a lobster or happen to look like one. After mistaking the green tube of shampoo for after sun aloe, my arms were oh so clean but still blazing red hot from the sun. That’s when… Continue reading