Interacting on Facebook and Twitter takes less time than writing a 400-word blog post. 400 words are too many for someone like me, someone who is easily distracted, who stops writing in the middle of a sentence to run outside and take a picture of a tree.
Continue readingPosts Tagged → Satire
Broken News in Boston!
CNN, the Crap News Network Hi, this is Blitz Geezer in Boston along with John Bland, Lance Fancy Pants and Tapioca Pudding. ALL THE NEWS BOBBLEHEADS NOD INDEFINITELY. BLITZ GEEZER Since we don’t have anything new to report, we’ll talk incessantly about nothing, Tapioca. LANCE FANCY PANTS No thank you. I… Continue reading
The Banker Intervention or Let’s Make a Deal
Day 26 of 30 Days of Writing – Today’s Writing Prompt is “An Intervention.” Please swing by We Work for Cheese to link up or read other posts by the criminally insane. A Dramatization INT. LIVING ROOM – EVENING Five members of the Banker family are seated around a lavishly decorated living room. Their… Continue reading
Favors I’d ask of Satan or Satan Party Favors
For Your Prince of Darkness’ Judgment Day, Satan Goody Bags Personalized with a special message: “But by the envy of the devil, death came into the world.” – Book of Wisdom II. 24 That’s all she wrote. Day 21: “Favors I’d ask of Satan” prompt from the 30 Days of writing, creative writing challenge at… Continue reading
The Widowed Sock Foundation
Helping Widowed Socks Get Back On Their Feet Again! Every ten seconds, a sock spouse experiences a devastating loss, a pair torn apart by a loved one missing or maimed, worn-out from too many hikes in the woods or spins in the dryer. Their remains tossed in the linen closet to be used as rags,… Continue reading
Shoe Misfits
Ode to an Ill-Fitting Shoe Cursed is the foot that’s born too thin. Nary a shoe will the foot fit in. If the shoe is too wide, The foot will slide. If the shoe is too tight, A blister will smite. What in the world can a lady do To keep a foot safe… Continue reading
Teleconfusion – TV or Not TV
Teleconfusion: An abnormal condition variously characterized by stupor, stereotypy, mania, and either rigidity or extreme flexibility of the limbs, resulting from watching too much television. You may have experienced one of the symptoms of Teleconfusion after watching The Apprentice, or America’s Got Talent or the recent season of Survivor. Symptoms of Teleconfusion Restless body syndrome:… Continue reading
The Case of the Missing Font Family. Hint. The Delete Key Did It!
Hey, you blanking page. What happened to the Font family? They vanished somewhere between the margins, their characters decimated by Jihadist spelling terrorists. Alas, I fear the fragment may be dead, but I can’t find the body of words. I need an English detective to solve the case – Sherlock Holmes. Prep your pipe and… Continue reading
The Infinite Et Cetera, More Powerful Than the Next
The clerk yelled, “Next!” I stepped up to the counter. “What can I get you?” he asked. I stared at the seemingly infinite choices on the shelf. “Well?” The clerk glared at me. “Uh . . .” “Hesitation is a sign of weakness. This is no place for the meek. You need fortitude to pick… Continue reading
Save the Wealthy – Sponsor a Billionaire!
Image via Wikipedia – I have no idea who this dude is. After a bad run of luck on Monte Carlo, billionaire Todd Hedrick III needs your contributions to help him get back on his jet again. For just $200 a week, you can help Todd maintain his lavish lifestyle and recoup the island he… Continue reading