The only computer/healthcare agency equipped to handle victims of hard drive head trauma A CUSTOMER LETTER Dear Visiting Nerds, After Uncle Ned, a retired Citrus Fruit Dyer, hit his head on the hard drive of his computer and passed out, I immediately got round the clock home healthcare assistance. Unfortunately, the accident rendered Uncle Ned… Continue reading
Date Archives → August 2009
If Only There Was a Lost and Found for Brains
Searching For My Brain I once had a brain but it went MIA above the yondering blue where the space ships cruise in weightlessness. That’s where my brain is—somewhere in space—the final frontier—floating in a vacuum of nothingness. In space, there is no air or reason to put on airs. Everyone looks the same hermetically… Continue reading
Dry Humor Minus the Perrier
How nomads got their name Who would have thought that a nomad wandering the desert would have such a wonderful dry sense of humor?Historians were just as surprised. According to an ancient scroll recently discovered in the Sinai Peninsula, as soon as the sun finished baking a nomad’s brain rendering him delusional, the funny bone,… Continue reading
Stay tuned for this thoughtful thought – Zen of FreeCell Revisited
For every action, there is a reaction Whenever I’m stressed and need to refocus, I start a game of FreeCell. The repetitive play and focus on strategizing the next card placement calms my brain and muffles the extraneous mind chatter. I continue to play game-after-game, replaying the same game if I lose, until I reach… Continue reading
Cyber Surfing Hound Got You Down?
The IPooch Can Help Does a scene like this give you pause? Does your dog run to check his e-mail as soon as you leave the room? Now both of you can enjoy online time together. With the new IPooch from Apple, your dog can stay in touch with his canine chums and surf… Continue reading
Nightmare on Main Street – Never Released Sequel to Nightmare on Elm Street
Image via Wikipedia Dare to dream . . . You’ll likely be screwed! SETTING Suburban office of floundering Magazine Publisher of Poop Nation, Waiting for ToGo, and Stool Time. CHARACTERS LINDA LINKSY: A middle-aged woman, who is a perpetual dreamer in an obsessive, compulsive sort of way; a busy social secretary (never at her desk)… Continue reading
As the Crow Flies Non Stop to Tahiti
Caws and Effect A crow swooped down and grabbed a bone my dog had left on the front yard. Away the crow flew, weighed down by its hand-me-down, bare-boned kill. No meat. Nada. Nothing to chew on. Perhaps the crow wanted to dress up its nest with a piece of modern art, though nests aren’t… Continue reading
Workplace Weasel – Genus: Inertus Dimwitus
Image via Wikipedia Migratory Habits and Behavior (based upon the post on workingwith weasels) Workplace Habitat Although Weasels live in underground areas and in places they cannot be found, every morning they migrate to office buildings in suburban and urban areas where they inhabit cubicles and/or tiny offices that are often mistaken for utility closets…. Continue reading
Sick of Pharmaceutical Ads – Ask Your Doctor about Pharm Blocker
Pharm Blocker THE BETTER BETA BRAIN BLOCKER http://www.flickr.com/photos/quinnanya/ / CC BY-SA 2.0 If you experience feelings of hopelessness, emptiness, or despair while watching pharmaceutical commercials, you may be suffering from Pharm Ad Psychosis or PAP. Pharm Blocker, taken once a day, eliminates symptoms associated with PAP by increasing serotonin levels to the brain, which prevents… Continue reading
Origin of the Word “Blog” Traced Back to Ancient Scotland
Scottish Bards Were First Known Bloggers After months of castle hopping, Scottish scholars were able to trace the root of the word “blog” back to the year 1300 and the bogs of Scotland. Castle archives revealed that bards were stationed at the north, east, south and west shore of a castle and would simultaneously… Continue reading