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Date Archives → July 2010

More Backside of the Unemployment Front!

posted in Satire on July 30, 2010 by Lauren 6 Comments

Image by mahalie via Flickr REAL JOBS. DELUSIONAL EMPLOYERS.   Receptionist MUST HAVE 4-YEAR DEGREE!! – Stop Yelling! YOU MUST HAVE A FOUR YEAR DEGREE TO QUALIFY FOR THIS POSITION. THERE IS NO FLEXIBILITY ON THIS … Okay. I get it. Again, you MUST have a 4 year degree and you MUST be able to… Continue reading →

The Backside of the Unemployment Front.

posted in Random Thoughts on July 29, 2010 by Lauren 12 Comments

Image by kk+ via Flickr What Employer’s Want! The war is not on terror or on global warming or on 3-foot tall green aliens. The war is on unemployment and we, the jobless, dodge bankruptcy bullets and enemy credit combatants every day while trying to capture a job on the front line of the employment… Continue reading →

Guest Blogger Formalda Hyde on Death and Sauerkraut

posted in Guest Post, Humor on July 27, 2010 by Lauren 6 Comments

Formalda Hyde – From her toxic lips to your smoldering ears – FORMALDAI thought I would die but then somebody else did — The fella at the market in frozen foods, or cryogenic microwaveables, as I like to call them.    His name was Sy. It was obvious why, because Sy liked to sigh.  He… Continue reading →

As the Spam Turns – Tales from Nigeria

posted in Satire on July 26, 2010 by Lauren 7 Comments

Image by Getty Images via @daylife -A long distance phone call off a short Nigerian pier- VIVIAN Hello Friend. Please excuse my English. I learned it from watching reality TV. How are you doing today including your work, I hope all is well with you. FRIEND I’m fine. but my work is not.  Maybe you… Continue reading →

Odd Facts and Observations about Dogs

posted in Pets on July 24, 2010 by Lauren 12 Comments

– TWO DOGS. ONE STORY – Jenny Jake Jake is from West Virginia and enjoys hunting and air sex. Jenny is from Puerto Rico and enjoys opening latches on fences and is also an illegal immigrant. I wonder if there is a connection. Jake is not a rocket scientist. Please refer to the above photo… Continue reading →

Guest Post on 2012 DVD at Blazing Minds – The Actors Look Smaller on TV!

posted in Random Thoughts on July 22, 2010 by Lauren 4 Comments

Image by joanna8555 via Flickr While watching the movie 2012 on DVD, I had time to compile a marketing list, as well as to ponder the weak plot points – the movie goes on a bit (2 hrs, 38 min). So, I decided to write a review. It’s not an ordinary review because my mind… Continue reading →

WTF Did the Cashier Say Now?

posted in Humor on July 20, 2010 by Lauren 11 Comments

Image by sgroi via Flickr The female cashier at the Stop and Shop had a voice like Bea Arthur and a body like Kareem Abdul-Jabbar. I got a nosebleed just looking up at her.   While I tossed items from the cart onto the conveyor belt, I listened to Cara Cashier ring them up. “Sorry about… Continue reading →

Oddjobs Part Deux – Shaken not Stirred

posted in Satire on July 16, 2010 by Lauren 8 Comments

It’s A Good Thing I Didn’t Step in it! In my ongoing search for “job,” I stumbled upon these weird job headlines (most from Craigslist). Some required their descriptors, others required no additives. Join me in a mouth-gaping, eye-bulging, “are you shitting me?” look at the current state of the job market. SPECIAL NEEDS ASSISTANT… Continue reading →

Easily Distracted by Bright Shiny Objects.

posted in Humor on July 10, 2010 by Lauren 14 Comments

  Thoughts bounce around my head like pinballs in an arcade machine. I often get lost in time. At a glance, it’s 9 a.m. Then, it’s 9:20. Where did the time go? Don’t know. But I really could have used those twenty-minutes. Bada-Bing. Bada-Boom. I’m back in real time or stationary chair-butt time, sitting in… Continue reading →

Hot and Bothered in an Un-Air-Conditioned Way.

posted in Humor on July 7, 2010 by Lauren 7 Comments

Target Practice. Image via Wikipedia It’s 99 degrees outside and 88 degrees inside because the AC is DOA. So, I called an air conditioning repairman, the cool kid who gets high on Freon and chilled air, not the uncool kid, like me, who thinks that refrigerant is a really tiny refrigerator. Hell. I don’t even… Continue reading →

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