Premeditated Blogging, Criminal, or Anal?

A scene from Disorder in the Court.A Scene from Disorder in the Court.Image via Wikipedia

Warning: Blogging Crime Scene!

Sometimes it takes me two hours or more to write a blog post.

Initially, the words bleed out onto the page, but then I review what I’ve written and the autopsy begins. Afterward, I put the pieces back together in a postmortem revision.

I wonder if that’s a good thing.

Shouldn’t blogging be a mental carnage brain-dump without an analysis from internal editorial forensics?

My internal editor also removes word splatter from my clothes.

Reading a raw blog post with all its flaws is more entertaining than reading a post that has been tweaked to death. I’m guilty of murdering many of my posts. So, cuff me, bring in CSI, and dust this blog for prints.

My DNA is all over the Blogger dashboard. I always shed cells while bashing the keyboard with my fingertips. I’m surprised there isn’t blood on the screen from smashing my head against it when I have writer’s block a.k.a. thought constipation.

No one should suffer from thought constipation. Someone please tell me. Why isn’t there Metamucil for the brain?

I get thought constipation when I think too hard and painstakingly choose my words. I can’t even spell painstakingly right. There’s a red line under the word. I should leave it there to prove my point – but I didn’t. Damn anal editor.

What was my point?

That a polished post takes the spontaneity out of blogging and the fun out of writing extemporaneously. Wow! Spelled that right.

Is it me, or has blogging evolved into something totally opposite of what blogging should be?

Hermetically-sealed, prepackaged posts clutter my desktop. They shouldn’t be gathering dust on my desktop while the “all about” stuff wrecks havoc in my head.

The “all about stuff”- worrying about stuff that has nothing to do with writing – causes writer’s block.

Stuff like …

  • What is my subscriber count?
  • How many comments did I receive on that post?
  • Am I wearing the same clothes I wore yesterday?
  • How many bullet points constitute a proper list?

As bloggers/writers, we have to remember why we started blogging in the first place. For me, it was to prevent thought rot from damaging my brain. Rot also gets into wood and can create a termite problem.

That’s all I need – critters feasting on my brain cells.

Writing/blogging should be fun, not work. When blogging becomes work, it’s time to take a break and revisit your roots. My ancestors are from Hungary and Denver, Colorado. I have a picture of my grandmother when she was a girl seated on a horse drawn carriage.  I was going to use the word “buggy” but it reminds me of termite infestations.

Hey! That was spontaneous. Live blog TV without the moving pictures. Before there were blogs, Twitter, and FaceBook, there was vaudeville and actors performing live in front of an audience without a rewind button.

I’d like to put my rewind button back into mothballs even though mothballs smell horrible. That’s why you put mothballs in places you rarely venture, like the attic where you can never find that book that went MIA or the closet with toxic BO blouses lying in a pile on the floor.

I guess a dry cleaner would be a more suitable place for the blouses if I want to spend money having a stranger clean my clothes. However, since I don’t know where he’s been, I’ll wash all shrinkable things cold, except myself. Even after undergoing therapy, I still prefer hot showers to cold.

I torture myself enough, which is why I need to write. However, writing is only therapeutic when words are victims of their own crimes or unpremeditated.

Let’s get rid of the rewind buttons, thesauruses, and expel spell check from our computers. Let it try to spell extemporaneously without looking it up.

Will I do a spell check once I finish writing this post? Damn straight. My internal editor is always looking over my shoulder and removing word splatter from my clothes. Although, I will place my editor in mothballs every now and then to see if she can handle the stench of preserving perfection.

What are your thoughts on blogging? Would you rather be outside doing dog poop collection?
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32 Comments Premeditated Blogging, Criminal, or Anal?

  1. Leeuna

    Now that's a valid point. I edit my work to death before I post it. And you're right — it does take a lot of the fun out of blogging. Maybe we should just go ahead and post what we write, warts and all.

  2. Lauren

    RF: Ha!

    Leeuna: I've been editing this all afternoon. I'm so obsessive compulsive. Make it stop! I want to see all the blood and guts before the makeover.

  3. Junk Drawer Kathy

    Yeah, I remember a day when I knocked out a post so fast and so easily and barely edited myself at all. Now? I struggle. And especially the last few weeks where I haven't had much to talk about and got the feeling I couldn't even write well anymore. All that did was make it harder to throw something up on the page. It made me examine every word too much. Reread too much. Analyze too much, until I hated what I wrote. I miss the old days when blogging didn't feel like so much work. I hope this is just a phase.

  4. Lauren

    Kathy, I think we all feel the pressure of producing a well-executed post, but we're killing our desire and creativity in the process. Fly by the seat of pants blogging was a lot more fun, bruises and all.

    To break the rhythm of a bad phase or if I just don't have time, I'll publish old posts, create weird lists, and sometimes just post funny pictures with captions. It takes the pressure off.

  5. Ziva

    This is interesting because most of the Finnish blogs I read are short, no more than a couple paragraphs, and updated daily and spontaneously, none of this insane editing we all seem to be guilty of. But in my defense, though, I have to say that I'm just editing because English isn't my strongest language and I tend to write completely stupid stuff sometimes. At least if I edit, my poor readers will only be subjected to about 80 percent of that crap. (I'm not a very good editor.)

  6. Lauren

    Ziva: Your writing is fabulous. But this revisionist blogging practice keeps me tweaking content night and day. OK. I exaggerated a bit. Though I am anal that way. : )

    Sometimes, rewriting takes all the passion out of a post. Raw emotion becomes desensitized. I probably should have cut out more words from this post.

  7. Snuggle Wasteland

    I've had the most success with a combination of spontaneity and editing. I like to quickly get the words down and save the post. Then in a day or two I go back and do an edit and then publish. If I sit down and try to think of something to write about I'll definitely get blocked.

  8. mommapolitico

    I just don't have the time to be as meticulous as I used to be. Although, I do like to check my stats. And my tweets. And the stats of my tweets. Well, you get the idea. Still fun, though, this bloggy thing, partly because of terrific blogsistahs like YOU! 🙂 Great food-for-thought post, Girlfriend.

  9. mommapolitico

    I don't edit as much as I used to, not because I am a better writer, but simply because there's not the time. I do get caught up in the stats. And the tweets. and the stats for my tweets. Well, you get the idea…Still enjoying the bloggy thing, though. Mostly because of blogsistahs like you! 🙂
    Great food-for-thought post, Girlfriend.

  10. Lidian

    This is such a great post and I can totally relate – I try to write more spontaneously on my pop culture/humor blogs (even then I do tend to go back and fiddle with them even after they are posted, I admit!). My history blog posts are harder for me and I have a weird system for "building" those posts, mostly by writing the first sentence of each paragraph and then working on them from there. And even then they sit out in the Draft section (like a time out for blog posts!) for quite awhile sometimes…

    Love your writing and love the image (I am a big Three Stooges fan, I don't know quite why!)


    Rats, I wrote such a good comment I was even surprised it came from me. But alas I lost it during the posting of it. But the postmortem is definitely needed to put out such a wonderful and thought out post, like this one. I only wish I had a quarter of your ability. As they say in England, Brilliant!!

  12. Mrsblogalot

    There are many questions left to be answered:

    Why is there no Metamucil for the brain and why does nobody make Watermelon juice?

    Editing is bad for the digestion (-:

  13. Lauren

    Snuggle: Is it okay if I call you Snuggle? Getting out the words and letting them simmer for a day or two is a great way of writing. How do you handle the suspense of waiting to see what you wrote?

    Heidi: No double dipping allowed. : ) Your posts look pretty clean. Must be all that Windex on the screen. Just kidding. Amazing work for not editing much. It's also how you keep your passion smoking on the screen.

    Hi Lidian: Welcome! Thank you. I love it! A time out for blog posts. Yes, blog posts can be so unruly. Mine throw exclamation points at me when they get mad. How do you keep up with all those blogs? Sounds like a lot of work. Do you sit down and start writing without an idea? I find that the most refreshing way to write. I think I obsess too much on titles.

    Glenn: I hate it when I lose my most bestest comment because I clicked away. Thanks so much. I labored intensely over this post and continued tweaking it long after it was published.

    Mrs B: I need answers. You're right about editing being bad for the digestion system. No wonder I gag on Alphabets.

  14. Ivy

    Great post, and my goodness so true. I have so many drafts of posts in a folder on my desktop. You've encouraged me to revisit them. I wonder what would happen if we just wrote what we thought the first time.

  15. Lauren

    Thanks Ivy. I think I'm going to repost my first ever blog post unedited. I was going to join a link up at SITS today – a post a day challenge – but am too tired to read all the fine print. In today's post, you're supposed to repost your first ever post, hence my repost.

  16. James MacAdam

    I'm a compulsive editor for the next day or so following a post. While true that you can finesse a written piece to death, I prefer well-considered and spell-checked words -it's what separates blogs from tweets (besides word count)!

  17. Janiss

    I am an old school magazine journalist who was around before the internet took over (or rather, steamrolled over) the written word. Copy editing and editorial calendars are in my lifeblood; I can't imagine writing without a deadline. When it comes to blogging, IMO the style may be different, but why should the approach be any less professional? I like the polish of a well-designed blog and well-thought-out, tightly edited posts.

    P.S. I also proofread and edit my comments.

  18. Lauren

    James: It is my nature to spend hours perfecting one piece of written work. I often miss the mark. I just wonder if the original intention of blogging – to be a personal journal – is being lost to a higher standard of Internet literature.

  19. Lauren

    Hi Janiss. Welcome! I appreciate the care that goes into a well-executed blog post. I just wonder if it eliminates the raw emotion that was evident in ancient cyberspace when blogging was more like journal writing. Maybe the sheer number of blogs and increased pressure to stand out in a crowded field has raised the standards of blogging.

  20. Janiss

    Lauren: A truly good editor knows when too much touch-up destroys the integrity of emotion. I started off my editorial career as senior editor for a rock mag. My best writers – the ones who brilliantly spewed raw emotion – also often needed work to be readable! The challenge was how to keep the feeling and the pacing, and at the same time make sure the review or story made sense. It's actually fun to do. Or at least I saw it that way. 🙂

  21. Lauren

    Janiss: So, the challenge is in spewing a raw emotional post while keeping the writing smooth, making it look spontaneous in the perfection of the words.

    I do enjoy the writing process. I just have a bit of an obsessive personality and don't know when to stop.: )

    I think Tracie got it right when she wrote: I've had the most success with a combination of spontaneity and editing. I like to quickly get the words down and save the post. Then in a day or two I go back and do an edit and then publish.

    Janiss, thanks so much for your insightful comments.

  22. Greg

    That's what makes blogging fun, no editor, no boss,just writing what comes of the top of your head, and letting it ride. Some good, some bad, but that's what makes life interesting.

    I think blogging is similar to the popularity of reality shows, reality shows are real people doing real things, bloggers are peoples real thoughts, raw and uncut.

    Great post as usual. Its always a pleasure to stop by,

    I sorry to say though that I'm passing on your underwear stories..

    I hope you won't hold it against me.

  23. Lauren

    Greg: Thanks so much. It's always a pleasure to see you here. Totally understand that you're not an aficionado of men's underwear stories. Ha! Would never hold it against you. Love your take on blogging and its similarity to reality TV. Great point!

  24. Jen

    I used to do drive by posts. I's sit down, write what I wanted to and then hit publish. It was easy and breezy and fun. Now I edit before I write and that prevents me from writing.

  25. Lauren

    Jen: I love that: "Drive by posts." I'm always on hyper focus drive when I write and won't stop editing/rewriting until I think I'm done. I really need to pry my ass from the seat with a crowbar. Putting the piece down and then looking at it another time is so helpful. I also find that I continue editing it in my mind while doing other things.

  26. THE SNEE

    Grate Post Lauren! I get blogged down by my internal editor too. It even wants to be involved in the comment's section. Did I just write 'grate'? I meant 'great'! My internal editor sure grates on my nerves! Now what to do about quotation marks and punctuation…sigh…Thank goodness for blog sites like yours!

  27. Lauren

    Thank you so much, Snee. I really appreciate that. Sometimes you just have to yell at your IE, not Internet Explorer, although I would yell at that, too, whenever I used it.

  28. Francis R. Barbour

    There are really three types of people: the obsessive compulsive types, the practical ones, and the rough riders [who continually fly by the sea of their pants]. Apparently, many of you are from the very first category… while I am [honestly] from the second!

    In the relationship world, you would be the "Howard Hughes," or "Howie Mandell," Germ-ophobe Types… I would be the one having my own fair share of fun… while the rough riders would be the life of the party, and yet dying from AIDS. You see, they wouldn't stop enjoying themselves long enough to wisely use a condom.

    Spell Checkers are merely, "Condoms For Writers" – if you really think about it. Meanwhile, to all of you Germophobes, I would advise loosening up a little bit. Although accidents do occasionally happen, it's just writing between consensual adults.

  29. Lauren

    Francis: Welcome! Love spell checkers as "condoms for writers." That's great. I wish I could be more like you but the OCD gets in the way, especially when wearing those damn latex gloves, which are like condoms.

  30. winter gurl

    Interesting content.:)
    Blogging can be fun and can become a work if blogging is your main income or minor income .

    If you blogging for fun or just hobby . Then no need to worry or no burden . You can write everything you like .

    Example the actor @ actress blogging for fun. They no need to worry about traffic or visitor because blogger always there for them .


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