Deadly Devotion
She gripped the handle on the suitcase as if it were a hand that saved her from falling off a cliff and then slammed the car door.
When she whirled around, a heavy thud of footsteps gave way to a strapping silhouette slinking toward her in the night.
“I can’t let you go,” he said; as words caught in her throat, a plane rumbled overhead.
Two steps closer and a cold blade cut through sealskin deep into her chest. ”I’m taking you home,” he lifted her, cradling her in his arms, as the heart she hoped would heal bled out onto the coat he gave her on her last birthday.
Lillie McFerrin’s Five Sentence Fiction.
oooh, very scary, and more so, as it could (and probably did) happen! I was engaged from the first word – more!
Thank you. If it did happen, it didn’t happen to anyone I know. I love to write dark fiction.
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Captivating and dark, and a reality that is more common than we want to believe. Devotion crosses the line to become sick obsession. You painted that so well with your words, the coat gave an extra dimension of all that is involved.
Thank you. I’ve always been interested in what impels a person to cross the line into dark territory.
Too often we read news stories about women that are murdered even when they have a restraining order against a spouse. It’s shameful that women’s issues in general aren’t taken more seriously by some congressmen.
Here is one I CAN try at home later Thank You
I should have included the disclaimer: don’t try this at home.
PS I don’t I plan to murder someone later; rather I will try five sentence fiction!!
Phew! Five sentence fiction is better to execute. Please let me know when you’re done.
A powerful piece; dark and sinister. Nicely done.
Thanks Sandra.
I really enjoy writing these five-sentence pieces.
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OMG. You are brilliant at this.
Hey thanks!!! I love truncated fiction.
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WOW! You blew this one out of the water. Brilliant expression of that thin line between devotion and obsession. And that last line: “…as the heart she hoped would heal bled out onto the coat he gave her on her last birthday.” Oh my God… Amazing. Lovely, lovely work, my friend.
Thank you so much Jayne.
Also, thank you for introducing me to this great weekly writing challenge. I love this short writing form.
Goodness! How powerful! I felt his obsession and her pain.
Thank you. I had no idea where I was going this piece until the end.