Image via Wikipedia Earlier today, a Washington think tank known as The Smart Ass Association, issued a statement that it would be voluntarily recalling 170 million eggheads due to laboratory confirmed cases of the Ignaramous Stupidous virus associated with some of the eggheads. The Smart Ass Association said that the eggheads included in the recall… Continue reading
Palin’s Unabridged Words to Nowhere.
Image by joestump via Flickr YOU SAY MOSQUE. I SAY MOSQUITO. What’s that buzzing noise? It’s Sarah Palin‘s words swarming from my TV set and circling my head. Yes, Sarah Palin is back in the news because there’s a new controversy in town – the ground zero mosque – a wedge issue she can really… Continue reading
More Planes in the Sky – Less People on the Ground.
Caution: Low Flying Planes Image via Wikipedia A letter in support of more commercial flights over quiet bucolic communities. Dear Editor, A recent FAA directive rerouting flights from major city airports over suburban areas is a much-needed public initiative. The directive will greatly improve the lives of neighborhood residents by keeping people inside away from… Continue reading
APB out on missing muse!
http://www.flickr.com/photos/martinlabar/CC BY-NC 2.0 Officer: Description of Muse? Me: I’m drawing a blank. Officer: Height, weight . . .? Me: I’ve got nothing. This is a repost from November 2009; dedicated to Kathy, an extremely talented blogger, the brains behind The Junk Drawer, and author of the recent post “I Lost My… Continue reading
Companies Hiring Monkeys Instead of the Unemployed
Image via Wikipedia OUT OF WORK? Well, now you may be out of luck unless you love a good swing on the vine. Back in 2009, companies began hiring trained monkeys to fill empty job slots instead of unemployed workers, a practice that Jillian Hand Human Resources Manager for LockJaw Industries has found to… Continue reading
Browsing the Job Market Shelves
While searching for jobs on Monster.com, HotJobs.com, or Craigslist.org, I always stumble upon job descriptions with spelling mistakes or over-the-top requirements. So, I’ve compiled a list of those jobs and have categorized them by market. UPSCALE NICHE EMPLOYERS Agency Account Executive for Stand-up Comedian Boutique agency and marketing services firm is lost without you. Well,… Continue reading
Confessions of a Serial Plant Killer
-Image via Wikipedia ~This is the third day of my incarceration in a maximum-security garden center. The florist glares at me from behind a bouquet of thorny roses, and she thinks I’m the dangerous one. I think we’re both the same, but she’d disagree. She cuts off the stems of plants. I cut off their… Continue reading
More Backside of the Unemployment Front!
Image by mahalie via Flickr REAL JOBS. DELUSIONAL EMPLOYERS. Receptionist MUST HAVE 4-YEAR DEGREE!! – Stop Yelling! YOU MUST HAVE A FOUR YEAR DEGREE TO QUALIFY FOR THIS POSITION. THERE IS NO FLEXIBILITY ON THIS … Okay. I get it. Again, you MUST have a 4 year degree and you MUST be able to… Continue reading
The Backside of the Unemployment Front.
Image by kk+ via Flickr What Employer’s Want! The war is not on terror or on global warming or on 3-foot tall green aliens. The war is on unemployment and we, the jobless, dodge bankruptcy bullets and enemy credit combatants every day while trying to capture a job on the front line of the employment… Continue reading
Guest Blogger Formalda Hyde on Death and Sauerkraut
Formalda Hyde – From her toxic lips to your smoldering ears – FORMALDAI thought I would die but then somebody else did — The fella at the market in frozen foods, or cryogenic microwaveables, as I like to call them. His name was Sy. It was obvious why, because Sy liked to sigh. He… Continue reading