Don’t Be A Writer’s Blockhead!


Type Until You Write!





No words … Nothing!

Writer's BlockheadI don’t know why I can’t write. I’ve got a head full of ideas. They trample each other on their way to the processing center of my brain. Few make it there alive. Some are captured and locked away in the file dungeon on my desktop.

“How ‘bout a post about . . . Yeah, that could work,” I mutter to Microsoft Word.

He dismisses me and hits the delete key.

“That’s great,” is what he types then adds “sarcastically” in all caps.

“Great for my ego. Thanks!”

Then Microsoft Word crashes before I save half the sentence that trails off into empty spaces on the page.

Maybe I shouldn’t revive the draft. It’s more dead than it is alive, attached to the faux paper screen that stands vertically, rather than horizontally – the correct position for a piece of paper.

“Forget you!”

I click on the Google Chrome icon on my computer, instead, and get lost in a virtual html storm. One site and then another gets stuffed into history along with cookies and spam. Snacks for the weary cyberspace traveler, bleary eyed in an awake REM daydream.

Flitting around in an intangible world that floats above earth like a balloon caught in a jet stream tantrum, courtesy of El Nino and La Nina, Mother Nature’s bratty kids.

For Christ sake, discipline them! Don’t scream “Shut up!” at them in a thunderous clap, then enable their bad behavior by rewarding them with a whirly ride in a hurricane.

Give them a time out. Stick them in a corner of California. The west coast is dry and lacks an invigorating tropical punch.

Denying them treats will temper their bad weather pattern that produces stormy outbursts consistent with the terrible two ninos.

Otherwise, a desktop, weather drama queen will popup from your taskbar and scream, “Hurricane alert! Shut down your computer and hide under your desk. Don’t worry about that half-assed draft lying in a coma. The words sound like gibberish anyway, but in fact may be Yiddish, because your words “are goat droppings” or as my people say, “bupkes.”

 What’s your cure for writer’s block?

22 Comments Don’t Be A Writer’s Blockhead!

  1. Agent 54

    Wow, I’m so lucky. I have so much material that I’m 4 posts ahead right now.

    I decided to post only 3 times a week just to keep people’s heads from spinning.

    I have notes from a month ago that I just haven’t had the time to write up yet. Having a boring day job with no computer access where I can think about comedy all day is a blessing in a mask. disguise You should get a boring day job. It’s great for writing.

    I gotta go to work now.

    1. Lauren

      That’s great! I have no shortage of idea. It’s that they all clog up my brain at once and I can’t figure out which idea to go with. Actually, I think it’s because of the damn query letter I’m writing. It’s a never ending process. It’s on my mind 24/7 and mucking up the processing center in my brain.

        1. Lauren

          You need to send a query letter to an agent when pitching a book you’ve written. I wrote a book that I’m trying to get picked up by an agent.

  2. injaynesworld

    I feel your pain. But I’ve never been a prolific writer. Just as an experiment, try getting off the computer for a few days and just picking up a good old-fashion yellow legal pad and pen, and just make notes and observations until you feel something stir your heart. That’s where the best ideas come from anyway. The brain is just the processor. Hugs.

    1. Lauren

      Thanks Jayne.

      As I said to Agent 54, I think it’s the damn query letter that’s slowing me down. Once I’m happy with it, the logjam should disburse. I agree with you about writing longhand. I take a notebook with me where ever I go. The problem is my handwriting. It’s illegible.

  3. Brenda

    I have found when I think too much about writing I don’t write much. So… I don’t think about it. When I am in the void of thought my go to is a lyric from a song. I wrote my first novel (still trying to sell and feeling a little like Oliver Twist.. ‘please miss agent…) based on a idea that came to me when I as listing to my most favorite song. Open a book and grab a line from a page and write whatever comes to you mind. Somewhere in the middle of all that mess you never know what you might find. Julia Cameron’s morning pages are a wonderful place to reground. Have you read her ‘My Right to Write’. If you haven’t pick it up. It has a healing quality to it.

    1. Lauren

      No, I haven’t read “My Right to Write.” I’ll check it out. A favorite book of mine is “War of Art.” Brenda, honestly, the query letter is jamming up the works. I’m obsessed with it. I THINK I’m done with it. But, I won’t actually consider it done until I send it out to an agent.

  4. Phil

    What kills me is when all these great posting ideas pop into my head when I am dozing off to sleep, in the shower, or on the bowl. Of course I can’t remember any of them when done. That drives me nuts. Then, when you sit down to write them the words just won’t flow. It’s like constipation of the brain.

    When I am walking around the city or out in public is when I get some good ideas, and I’ll send a text to myself. Sometimes you just need to get out and about to stimulate the writing process.

    1. Lauren

      Ain’t that the truth? Ideas in the shower. That’s some kind of cosmic joke. I keep a pad and pen by the crapper or try to remember to keep it there. Great idea sending yourself texts. I actually use the “Notes” app. Sending a text is quicker. You’re right. Getting out and about is a great way to loosen up the blockage in your head. A while ago, I wrote a post called “Mentamucil: The Natural Brain Laxative.” I added the link in the question that I just included in the post.

  5. Bryan G. Robinson

    I think maybe you’re on the computer too much, trying to write. Or if you are on the computer, you should use AdBlock :). I don’t get all the ads, really. Sometimes paper works too…you do remember paper, right? Sort of like LPs and 8-tracks. Again :). Seriously, though, I have been using an app called Evernote, for when I do get ideas and it’s been very helpful. While Evernote might not be the app for you, there are plenty of others. You can even put them on your phone! Crazy times we live in. 😉

    1. Lauren

      You’re probably right. I think this time my dry spell can be blamed on my query letter that I keep revising. I like to finish projects and move on. Not completing the query letter keeps it in the to-do list, which drives me batty. I’ll definitely give Evernote a look. Thanks for recommending it. Enjoy the beautiful weather!

  6. My Inner Chick

    I have this framed from Natalie Goldberg:

    **Take out another notebook, pick up another pen, and just write, just write, just write. In the middle of the world, make one positive step. In the center of chaos, make one definitive act. Just write. Say yes, stay alive, be awake. Just write. Just write. Just write**

    Great post.

  7. Rum Punch Drunk

    The brains in our heads can send us into tail-spins on the best of days. Why can’t things just flow out naturally and when you want it to?

    Apart from pen and paper, why not carry your mobile phone and just record what you’re thinking about at the time? It’s quicker than using the pen and you’ll have it recorded in the tone and gist of how you was thinking. You don’t even have to stand still to do it, walk and talk is the new thing, I say.

  8. Adrienne

    I think we’ve all been there Lauren when we have a lot of ideas but they just don’t seem to flow how we’d like. I’m never short for post ideas and usually when I sit down to write the words just start flowing for some reason and I’m done.

    I’ve had my moments though so I’ll usually get up from the desk and go do something else all the while thanking God for the words coming to me so easily. Next thing you know I sit back down, start writing my post and it just all seems to flow. I love that when that happens.

    Good luck!


    1. Lauren

      That’s great, Adrienne. I wish I could sit down, let it flow and have it all make sense. Very often when I freewrite, it turns into poetry. I think I’m having a creative crisis.

  9. Katherine

    At least your last post wasn’t about poop in the ocean and child abuse like mine was!!!! Some people have class (you) and others, not so much. (Oh so me!) Oh wait… you mentioned goat droppings… does that count?


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