SAY GOUDA! The story of Gouda Jones, a former cheesemonger and Wisconsin resident, is a source of pride and embarrassment for Gouda’s loyal fanbase of Cheeseheaads and Happy Hour enthusiasts. There was never any doubt Gouda Jones had a nose for cheese. She could detect the finest cheese aromas from miles away with her extraordinary… Continue reading
Author Archives → Lauren
A Blogger Looks Back to 2009 and Asks, Why Am I Here?
I started blogging back in May 2009 shortly after I lost my job as a customer service rep at a bakery where only the baked goods were nut-free. The gal who preceded me and the one who followed were also let go after three months. We all got the tee-shirt, but one of us… Continue reading
A Tale of Two Blog Feeds
It was the best of feeds; it was the worst of feeds … At times they worked; at times they didn’t work. But at least they were together, two feeds on a blog, until I discovered I could kill one off. It would be painless. Just a quick click and then delete. There would… Continue reading
Connecticut Town to Build Country’s First Cell Tower Museum
Earlier today anchor Blitz Wolfer of the Crap News Network sat down with Mayor Ragu Macaroni to talk about the Mayor’s plan to build a Cell Tower Museum in Ridgeburyville’s scenic tourist district. This is a transcript of the interview. BLITZ WOLFER Mayor Macaroni, thank you for taking time to speak with me. I… Continue reading
I Am a Danger to My Blog
Danger! Danger! Lauren just entered the admin dashboard! Over the past four years, I’ve made many blogging blunders, from blowing a deal with a content syndication service for writing a post about Polish Spam, to breaking the footer on my blog. But of all the blogging blunders I’ve made throughout the years, I think I’ve… Continue reading
The Intellectual Curiosity of a Marshmallow Head
Last month a sticky air mass slimed the east coast and dumped a gooey mess on my head that looked like a toasted marshmallow. With my mind mired in goop, I became paralyzed from a crippling condition known as Constibraintion. When the creative cog gets stuck in a muddy rut of words because of too much… Continue reading
Something Dark for Halloween
Searching for Heaven The wind blew Rita’s hair into her eyes and mouth as she stood facing gray hanging sky that blended with the asphalt parking lot below. Misguided dreams and hopes of infinite possibilities would end here on the roof, with her shoes firmly planted on the edge of the precipice. No more… Continue reading
My Photo Op Addiction
Most days I slip behind the wheel at 9:30 a.m. and head to work, long after rush hour has lost its zip. During my twenty-minute drive, I usually spot a photo op or two. Yesterday, there were five, Yes, FIVE! Just five minutes into the trip. Kind of ironic, I know. 9:35 – Photo Op #1… Continue reading
Don’t Be A Writer’s Blockhead!
Type Until You Write! Bleh! Burble! Blurg! No words … Nothing! I don’t know why I can’t write. I’ve got a head full of ideas. They trample each other on their way to the processing center of my brain. Few make it there alive. Some are captured and locked away in the file dungeon… Continue reading
I Don’t Care
The sun shines down on my hair, But I don’t care. The blue behind the clouds Is darker than allowed, In the sky swiftly drifting by Without a whisper for me, Planted on my knees in the weeds, Ripping roots from the dirt. Toils of desperation Smears sweat across the hurt Of nothing to… Continue reading