Do your walls draw a blank when they stare back at you? Does the white bright hurt your eyes? Well, your eyes are trying to tell you something you already know. It’s time to fill in that glaring space on your wall with that naked poster that’s hiding behind a trunk in the attic. Rescue… Continue reading
Post Category → Humor
The Week That Hit The Fan
The AC in the ICU will be DOA soon. It’s 27 in human years or 150 in air conditioner years. Freon’s dripping through holes in a tube causing a mid summer system freeze, like a PC’s CPU though desktops blow hot air mostly. The AC blows both hot and cold. It’s cantankerous and groans and… Continue reading
Halloween Christmas Light Fusion
Christmas Lights in October – Preposterous! Ludicrous! Daft! Who would consider such a notion? It’s a holiday faux pas. You can’t mix and match the holidays. But what if you can? What if you could hang Christmas lights on Halloween – red or green or multi-colored Christmas lights – combined with the fun and fright of… Continue reading
How to Think Like a Writer
Most people think like this: B&W B&WB&W B&W B&WB&WB&W B&WB&WB&WB&WB&W But writers think like this: !?^~*€¥§‡««¤µ†~*¿!?^~*€¥▼{‡¬««µ†~^~*€¥▼{£§‡«¤µ We can’t help ourselves. While driving to work I think about imaginary characters, or the tarp in the back of the truck in front of me that looks like there’s a body beneath it, or the street sign… Continue reading
Writers are from Mars and Visit Often
During the pubescent Salkin years, I used to think humans were Martian spawns. I don’t know where that idea came from. I guess the same place all weird ideas came from – the sky … and UFOs. Sometime later during my teenage years, after I got my first typewriter, a thought hit me between… Continue reading
Write Something. Damn it! Who cares if it’s crap, literally?
A conversation with myself because no one else will listen. Why don’t I feel like writing: Arctic spring weather? Green goop in China? Wrist Apnea? Lame, lame and lame. Just strike the damn keys until something appears – Black-and-blue words, broken letters… Cut the crap! You’re being lazy. No one gets anywhere by being lazy. You’ve… Continue reading
Food, You Are Dead to Me!
Because I can’t taste you anymore. At least, not in the way I used to. Several months ago, I noticed that trusted flavors lacked their usual zest: Garlic, yogurt, onions…all tasted bland. Granted, I’ve never been much of a cook…Well, food tasted blander than that. At first, I thought I was imagining it. But as… Continue reading
Blankety-blank page, the bleeping white brain suck
Thought I’d never see you again. But here you are, staring at me like a white light at the end of an airport ramp crammed with waitlisted souls. God, you are not. If I were to compare you to an omnipotent being, it would be the devil. You torture me like he does and… Continue reading
The Hail Mary Hissy Fit
Sometimes you’ve got to vent, then pray it saves your head. Let it go! Let it rip! Let it ride on black while you’re blue. If it only stopped at red. Instead, my unhinged roulette spins off course into a storm, Down a ravine I didn’t see. No time for a Hail Mary… Continue reading
Paradise Lost
One forkful then another, she slipped the succulent oozing chocolate past parting lips, licking them clean, as luscious dark decadence painted her tongue. More, she wanted more chunks of rich cathartic bliss to scoop then swallow, lifting, then plunging into a yearning mouth; her only focus, she was oblivious to everything else, including the potential hazard… Continue reading